Friday, November 20, 2009

Wedding Cravings

There is just something in the air that's making me crave marriage.  Engagement pictures, bridals, wedding rings, wedding dresses, wedding cakes; I've been hearing and seeing a lot of this lately.  It seems to me that half of the Facebook population is getting engaged!!!  And I can't help wanting to take part of it too!  It makes me feel giggly and happy inside.  Seeing all those pictures of gorgeous and so in-love couples makes me melt and brings tears of happiness.  So what, I'm a little emotional and sensitive.  ;)

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, 6 months, and 6 days to be exact and well you know... many having been in such a long relationship as mine would have already gotten married, or at least engaged by now! 

"So when are you getting married Grace?"

"You know it's about time you get married!"

"You guys have been together a long time now Grace, aren't you planning to get married yet?"

I get bombarded with these sentences by my friends, co-workers, and family. 
My reply:

"I'm too young for marriage, C'mon I'm still a kid!"

So why am I not married yet?  Well, because I'm such a loser that my boyfriend doesn't want to propose to me. 

No, I'm kidding, LOL!  My boyfriend has actually proposed that we get married.  Multiple times.  And me being the meanie-head that I can sometimes be, I always say no.  I know, I'm a meanie.  (It makes me wonder why my boyfriend is still with me.)

The thing is that I do still feel like a kid!  Education is my focus right now as well and...and... I'm scared of marriage.  I have seen many marriages fail and I'm scared it will happen to me too.  I have reflected a lot on marriage.  I really have.  But I'm just scared.  Along with the fear of a failed marriage, it's a big commitment.  A big decision.  A decision that will affect my entire life!  So even though I try to avoid the word "marriage" from my vocabulary as much as possible, the truth is that I do want to get married.

While I sit and tell half of the world "No, I don't want to get married yet." or "Ugh, marriage is so lame and not for me." deep inside I crave marriage and can't wait for the day that I will be dressed in white, by my fiance's side, and the privilege of forming an eternal family.

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